Bernard Sandal

Key Information

Bernard Graham Sandal, born 7 June 1945, is the father of Randal Sandal and current leader of United Against Randal. Bernard Sandal was the first vocal opponent of his son's 'callous behaviour' and after divorcing Randal's mother, Cecilia, he established Enemies of Randal Sandal, who blocked Sandal's presidential bid in the 2016 U.S elections.

Early Life and Upbringing

In the waning days of the second world war, Morag McCann and partner Eric Sandal returned from their holiday in Venice early to the city of Glasgow during her turbulent pregnancy. Morag had been excreting viscous nasal goo and placenta juice for about two months prior to June 7th 1945. It was on that same day that the two entered Langside Hall to witness the birth of their first and only child Bernard Sandal. Morag, unfortunately, died during child birth and Eric Sandal was left to raise his son alone. Growing up without a mother made life difficult for young Bernard. At times, he was convinced that a father alone could not hope to provide maternal treatment he so desperately needed. Luckily, Bernard's father had been known for his abjectly feminine predilections- universally recognised as one of the very first 'metrosexuals', giving him a somewhat stable childhood.

Education

Bernard received primary education in Battlefield Primary school under headteacher Enrico Dandolo VIII with whom he later collaborated and swam the Venetian channel. Attending Shawlands Academy between 1957-1963, Bernard gained a solitary O-Level qualification in Drama. However, this was enough to secure a place in a Theatre Studies course at the University of St Andrews. He Graduated in 1967 with a 1.1 Honours degree.

Meeting Cecelia

After graduating from the University of St Andrews, Bernard sandal moved back to Glasgow and began work as a bouncer outside one of the south side's most famous nightlife attractions, the shed. It was in here many years later after his wages had been payed that he received an anonymous tip from a betrothed drunkard, imploring him to go to the then thistle hotel. Bernard made his way there and in the reception locked eyes with he woman who was to be his beloved, Cecilia Crabbe. The two booked a room and engaged in frivolous premarital sexual intercourse- it was on the night of June 5th 1983 within the walls of the thistle hotel that Randal Erwin Bukowski Sandal was conceived.

Raising Randal

The couple raised Randal in their home in Mearns Castle, just outside the city of Glasgow. The family home is located just south of the secondary school in the area. Randal's upbringing was punctuated by two conflicting styles of parenting; Cecelia favoured allowing Randal's homosexual to proclivities take hold, fostering whimsicality and flamboyancy within the young Sandal; whereas, Bernard- having had his homoerotic exposures- wished to mould the young Randal into a towering column of acute masculinity and oppressive force. In the end, Randal drew from both ideals- giving way to the being we know today.