Euan Jenkins

Description
Euan Jenkins was a freestyle rapper throughout the early 1980s. His greatest hits include, Fuck Me, I'm Feeding Again and Reddit and Tumblr are my Only Friends. Legendary Hip-Hop artist MattyB once commented that his single Bryan is a hotty with the flabbiest tits was a "genuine masterpiece" and "an inspiration to all closeted homosexuals".

However, once Jenkins' fat-boy-asian porn stash was uncovered in 1995, he was ridiculed by his fans and rejected by his Record Contractors at Sony Music. Broke and newly divorced from his wife Susan Jenkins, Euan wandered the streets of Glasgow Southside where he ate from bins and slept rough through the turn of the millennia. He did this for years, until discovered by Randal Sandal. Randal took Euan into his home and took care of Jenkins for years. With time, Randal and Jenkins' relationship blossomed. In 2003, Randal announced that Jenkins was pregnant. Randal and Jenkins named the unborn baby girl Adolf, but sadly a Jenkins had a miscarriage.

Overcome with sadness and grief, Jenkins fled to live in queens park where he can now be seen fingering his arsehole near the Duck Pond every second Tuesday.